Eggshell Existence
by xXTonyScullyXx
Summary: A medically solvable illness rips through the body of one of the agents, it has no humanitarian cause but still drives Tony insane looking for the person responsible. Written by TWO authors :D *WARNING* medically graphic.
1. Surreal Reality

***DISCLAIMER* OH HOW I WISH I OWNED THESE CHARACTERS! SADLY, I DO NOT. RIGHTFUL POSSESION GOES TO THE OFFICIAL OWNERS OF NCIS AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS.**

The images shook and twisted through broken glass; the wicked hazy faces of her co-workers pushed her towards the edge of the cliff sized bed, "No!" Ziva jolted awake as an intense pain ripped through her leg, dividing her attention from the broken dream. "Stupid leg," she muttered as she massaged the cramping muscle.

As she worked out the cramp she glanced over at her bedside clock, 3am. "Damn it," she sighed, yet again it was early and yet again she knew that she would not be able to fall back to sleep; no matter how much she tried. She gingerly shuffled to the edge of the bed, ready to get up. She slid her body out of the covers and planted her feet on the ice cold floor. After a few seconds she tested the muscle to see if it would cramp again by pushing against the floor. Finding it didn't, she moved across to her bathroom and started her morning routine.

Sitting at the kitchen table, she watched the hands of the clock go by; second by agonising second as she sipped her coffee in time with the beat that it emanated. It was only 4.30am, and she'd already had a shower, two cups of coffee and 6 trips to the bathroom; the latter which she put down to the immense amount of caffeine she'd gulped down. She was in, what could only be described as a daze as she sat unmoving, unwilling to get the breakfast that would fuel her day.

Shaking her head she broke out her daze, focusing clearer on the clock she had so adamantly been staring at, she noticed the time and had to re-focus to make sure what she was seeing was correct. Over an hour and a half had gone past, she'd lost over an hour... She started shaking, her breathing uneven and raspy. Closing her eyes she took some deep breaths to calm her mind. After losing so much time, she wondered if her lack of concentration had been due to her utter lack of a full nights sleep for the past few days. Ziva was determined that the lapse would not occur while she was at work today. It couldn't…

Ziva headed out of the door of her apartment, but as she was locking the door, she had the almost uncontrollable urge to use the toilet. Shoving the door open she sprinted to the bathroom and sighed in relief as she made it onto the toilet, before any liquid could leak out of its own accord. "I must not drink so much coffee," she said to herself, making a mental note to not overload on caffeine; even if she really needed like she felt she might at work later.

Clenching her hands she looked at the steering wheel of her car and wondered when she had got here. Looking around she tried to find the answer, but none were forthcoming. For the second time that morning she calmed her mind. She refused to look at the time, she didn't want to know how much time she'd lost in this instance, and it was too frightening to contemplate. Shaking her head at herself, she continued on to work.

She cringed as a horn blared at her from behind, forcing her to realise how dangerous her driving had become. She slowed down and angled her head to the side, so as not to see the smouldering eyes of the driver she'd just cut up. Taking the next left, she sighed in absolute relief as she saw the big multi-storey building she'd come to know as 'work.'

Just taking one step into the warm familiar building, was all that was needed to settle the unusual nervousness, which had been coursing through her body. She knew everyone and everything here; there were no surprises or expectations, even if she did always have a 10 foot solid wall around her. She knew she didn't need to have it, but it had become a comfort to her, and she lived in the knowledge that no one did anything to try and change her. But today, she worried slightly as she knew that someone would notice that there was something off with her, almost immediately. She also knew that that someone, would most likely be the person who was closest to her, her best friend and trusted ally, Tony.

The elevator made its usual ding as Ziva stumbled out onto her floor. Her eyes immediately fell on the desk where Tony was working and she felt herself tighten with nerves. She stopped mid-step and forced herself to take a deep breath; looking up she immediately met Tony's concerned gaze. "Damn it," she muttered under her breath, if anything at all, she'd wanted to avoid a grilling from tony about her sleeping habits.

Tony observed her for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to ask if she was okay. "You okay, Ziva" Though this time, it was said without his usual elongation of her name.

Ziva noticeably cringed as if she just didn't want to talk, but this concerned Tony even more. He was only interested in her wellbeing but he knew from experience, that getting Ziva to open up was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. Nevertheless, he'd still try because he knew it was in her best interest. "Ziva?" Tony persisted, needing to know why she seemed off her game today.

Ziva glared at Tony, wishing that today he hadn't been as observant as she'd expected of him, she really was not in the mood. "I'm tired Tony, okay?" she snapped, "I haven't slept well the past few nights."

Usually, Tony would have continued asking, but in this case something made him stop and take a long look at the woman in front of him. He instinctively knew she was trying to hide something, he wanted to say something to discover what was bugging him so, but he wouldn't do it. He noticed that she seemed as worried as he did. So instead of his usual grilling, he simply moved across to her, wrapping his arms around her smaller frame. She was tense at first but he felt her relax and he knew that she had gotten his message; that he would be there when she wanted to talk to him.

Ziva watched Tony closely watching the cogs in his machine turn as he tried to figure her out. She knew from experience that he would either dig himself a hole, or know exactly what to do. Expecting an interrogation, she steeled herself in preparation. Her gaze quickly turned from ice to alarm as she watched Tony move away from his desk. She stiffened as he casually slung his arms around her, his head rested on her shoulder. The feeling of is warm breath and the sound of his deep regular breathing made her tingle. Her heart raced as he squeezed her, determined to get her to relax. But this was forming butterflies, which seemed ridiculous to her; perhaps it was because she was tired? After a few seconds, she breathed out and her muscles relaxed, "There we go," Tony whispered caringly into her ear, before slowly unwrapping his arms and returning to his desk.

As Tony sat down he returned his gaze to see a soft surprised smile upon her face, in that moment he knew that for once he'd read her right and done the right thing. When their eyes came across one another again he winked at her and then got back to work as their boss stepped out of the elevator.

"DiNozzo! Where's McGee." Gibbs ordered expecting him to know the answer.

"Just about to find out, boss." Tony Replied as he picked up his phone to call the younger agent, as he did that he cast his eyes briefly over Ziva to make sure that she seemed okay for the moment and then returned to the job at hand.

"Well do it quickly," Gibbs barked as he put down the phone, "We have a case; grab your gear."

Tony was still on the phone and was split between following Gibbs and getting hold of McGee. Gibbs marched towards the exit, but stopped in front of Tony's desk, "Well?"

"I can't get hold of him, boss," Tony replied in his usual rushed way.

"Well you have a cell, use it, DiNozzo!" Gibbs retorted as he marched to the elevator, quickly followed by a stumbling Ziva.

Typing out a quick message to McGee, telling him where they were going and to meet them there if he was going to be late, he noticed Ziva's stumble, almost ready to reach out and steady her he pulled back when she regained her own balance. Tony tried to catch Ziva's eyes to ask if she was alright with a look, but she seemed determined to avoid his attempts.

Before she could get into the elevator, Ziva had another almost uncontrollable urge to use the toilet, "Tony, I've got to use the bathroom." She spoke up before half running towards the toilets.

Tony was in two minds, something was obviously wrong with Ziva, but he knew that Gibbs wouldn't be at all happy if he didn't follow. The elevator doors slid open again and Gibbs was stood there impatiently, "Well? Are you coming?" He stated without any hint of a question, but then he noticed Ziva's absence, "Where's Ziva?"

"Bathroom, Boss" Tony replied.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, "Wait for her." He replied before the elevator closed its doors and resumed its course.

Tony stood there in silence for a few seconds before powering to the door of the women's.

Ziva made it to the toilet before what could only be described as a torrent of liquid poured out of her. Shaking she glanced down; what was before an irritation at her bladder soon turned into panic as she stared into a sea of dark red liquid, " Oh shit.. TONY!" she yelled as her heart began racing at the horror of it all, "TONY!"

She heard the door slam open as tony ran into the toilets, "Where are you?" He replied, now more worried than before.

"Here."

Tony pushed against the door of the cubicle to see Ziva sitting on the toilet shaking in shock. Moving closer, he ignored the fact that she had no underwear on and looked down into what had transfixed her. It was blood, it looked as if… she'd urinated blood.


	2. Failure to Survive

The phone in Tony's hand felt like a lead weight as he paced up and down the whitewash corridor of the hospital. Not allowed to go beyond the door; but wanting to disregard all the rules simply because of who it was behind said door that hadn't opened in what felt like hours. But he knew he couldn't as she would not look too kindly at him if he did and he didn't want to destroy any of the progress they had made over the course of the morning. Biting back a frustrated sigh, wanting to have some news, he knew it was time to call Gibbs and tell him of the situation so far.

Gibbs was pacing up and down the scene wondering where his agents had got to. McGee had arrived thirty minutes ago and was currently documenting the scene by himself, while Ducky and Palmer were dealing with the parts of the dead marine strewn all over the barn.

Storming over to Ducky, Gibbs was not in a happy mood, "Where the hell are they Duck?"

"I'm sure they just got stuck in traffic Jethro," Ducky replied without moving his eyes from the hand he was presently studying. Gibbs took a deep breath, "But they're not usually late like this. They'd call."

Sure enough, as if Tony was anticipating Gibbs' worry, the cell rang. After one ring Gibbs picked it up immediately, "Where the hell are you, DiNozzo?"

Ducky watched Gibbs intently as the angry fire in his eyes was extinguished and replaced by worry. This was not a good sign and Ducky felt Gibbs' nervousness as he moved closer to the ex-marine.

Gibbs slowly hung up the phone and turned to face his concerned team, "It's Ziva, she's in hospital."

Tony steeled himself against the response he knew he would get, he took a deep breath and dialled the number.

"Where the hell are you, DiNozzo!" Came his boss's angry voice over the phone.

"I was worried about Ziva, she didn't seem right this morning so I was keeping an eye on her and when she needed the toilet before we left, there was blood boss, we're at the hospital and the doctors think that that it's something to do with her kidneys. They are still running tests but…" Tony trailed off as he saw Ziva exit the room he had been so intent on entering earlier and sat on a nearby chair forlornly, "Listen, Boss I have to go, she's just come out."

Gathering up his courage, Tony put his cell away and sat on the chair next to Ziva's. He was at a loss for what to do in situations like this, usually he made jokes or something but he knew, in his mind that this wasn't the time or the place for that so he went for something he was unsure of.

Gently he placed his arm around Ziva's shaking shoulders, offering support but not so much that she would run or that she felt crowded. When she didn't even look up at the contact he became worried and knew he had to say something. "We'll do this together Ziva" With that he placed his free hand on the closest one of hers and gently tried to stroke the tension he could feel out of her body. After a few moments she had allowed herself to relax tilting her head against his chest, allowing him to comfort her.

Ziva wanted to cry, she really did, but her, a tough ex-Mossad officer, crying? She knew she couldn't keep them away for long as she felt herself begin to shake. She buried her head further in his chest as she felt her eyes fill with liquid; slowly, one by one, tears began running down her cheek. Tony's arms tightened around her as her quiet sobs became audible to him.

"Shhh," Tony soothed, stroking her back gently, "I know you can pull it together, my ninja."

Abby, felt the cold of the early winter afternoon bite against her skin as she exited her car outside of the hospital. All she had been told was to meet the team at the hospital, and that Ziva was being checked out by the Doctors. She hated it. Hated that she had to come to this place to see how part of her family was doing or what was even happening. She hesitated for a few moments, but her resolve pushed her forward and through the doors before she could think to look back. She felt lost as she looked around and down the long corridors that made it evident that she was actually in a hospital.

"Abby." McGee's voice was quiet behind her and she spun 180 degrees, immediately spotting Gibbs as well and latched on to him for support.

"What's happening Gibbs" She knew that she couldn't stop her lip from trembling but she wanted to stay strong for her friends. She unattached herself from him and looked up hoping he had an answer but seeing his face and hearing his words she knew that he knew just about as much as she did.

"Let's go find out." Stated Gibbs simply, determination lacing his tone.

When the three made it to Ziva's room, they were greeted by the rest of the team. Everyone had smiles on their faces and were talking animatedly to one another about Tony's dating history, but they all knew that it was a mask; a mask so fragile that the slightest thing could shatter its delicate balance.

Ziva glanced around at the people she'd come to know as family and knew that all was not good. They were all cheery and bright and even though she could see straight through the façade, she was glad it was there, she didn't want honesty right now.

A few minutes later, her doctor entered the room, smashing the cheerful atmosphere that held them all together: Not one face was absent of worry.

"We have your results here Ziva," the doctor began, addressing the room in a professional manner, "I'll put it simply, there's no need to complicate things with extravagant medical terms." He smiled at his own weak attempt at a joke.

"Excuse me, doctor," Ducky spoke up, "There are some of us who would appreciate the medical view," he looked expectantly at the doctor.

"Oh, yes, I'm err sorry," the doctor stumbled over his words, obviously not expecting to be corrected, "I'll give you the full description,"

"Oh, well actually," Ducky interrupted, "Perhaps it would be better to explain things in Layman's terms."

A look of confusion swept across Palmer's face, "Layman's terms, Dr Mallard?"

"Oh, yes, well Mr Palmer, Layman's terms are a way of explaining things for the common man to understand. Well I do recall a time where, uh, yes sorry Jethro." Ducky stopped suddenly after a glare from Gibbs.

The doctor glanced around the room waiting to see if he could continue, which he did after getting a short nod from Gibbs, "I'm afraid you have CKD, Chronic Kidney Disease." He looked at Ziva sympathetically, "The blood in your urine is a sign that you are going into renal failure."

Ziva looked quizzically at her doctor, "It means your kidneys are shutting down, I'm sorry. We're going to have to start you on Dialysis."

Everyone's first reaction was a change in expression; from concern, to shock. The second, was uncertainty, they weren't sure what this would mean in the long run for Ziva or for them as a team.

The Doctor took his leave after a nod from Ducky, he realised that t needed time to take in the news first before they started talking about anything else.

Tony's whole focus was Ziva the moment the words had left the Doctors lips and immediately he knew that Ziva needed to some to take things in without everyone there, Ducky and Palmer had arrived just before McGee, Abby and Gibbs and now the room was feeling crowded. Turning away from Ziva a moment he sought out his boss, looking him in the eye he expressed what he knew Ziva needed, Gibbs nodded minutely, not needing words to understand anything his team needed they'd been working together that long. Gibbs moved and started signalling for people to start leaving the room; that done, Tony focused back on Ziva and watched her closely.

The only person Gibbs had trouble moving silently was Abby, she protested quietly and decided upon hugging Ziva quickly, offering her support and left with the rest of the team.

Now that it was just Ziva and Tony in the room it stayed silent for a time, they were both still processing the information and what it would mean. Tony could tell that Ziva was on the edge of tears again but was unsure what she wanted at the moment. He was still in close proximity to her as he spoke softly but he didn't miss the slight flinch his voice had brought, as if she had been in a world of her own. "Do you want me to leave as well" He questioned, unsure.

Ziva had been surprised by the voice and wasn't expecting the question, Tony wouldn't have usually given her the choice, he would have just stayed out of some misguided need to help her all the time. However, she found that she liked that he had been asking what she had wanted all day and had known just what she had needed at the time. Maybe, he had grown up and she just hadn't noticed until now. Either way she preferred him to stay right now. While she did want some time on her own, she also felt that she needed at least one person there with her.

So in response to his question she pulled his arm downwards and towards her, inviting him to lay on the bed with her, both of them knew that it was meant at a gesture of friendship rather than anything else so Tony lay down on his side and allowed Ziva to wrap her arms around his middle, pulling him close and placed her face in his chest, he wrapped his arm around her, holding her there for as long as she needed. After a few moments he felt her begin to shake, knowing that's all she needed right now, he didn't want to say anything that would ruin the moment that she obviously needed, he guessed that she hadn't wanted him to leave after all.

Ziva closed her eyes and let herself relax into the steady rhythm of his heart. It was all so surreal to her, her kidneys failing? Why? Why her? She knew that there was no rhyme or reason to what had happened to her, but her brain still told her it was her fault, she had to have some way of rationalising this.

Tony took a deep breath before speaking up, "You know I'll always be here for you Ziva. I care about you and I don't want to lose you." He kissed her softly on the top of her head.

"I know, Tony." Ziva smiled to herself at the overwhelming affection and love he showed her, she loved that someone actually cared what happened to her, and with that one last happy thought, she fell asleep, utterly exhausted from the day's events.


End file.
